Why and How to Build a Gratitude Practice

My most dog-eared paperback is The Book of Delights by Ross Gay. It’s a collection of lyrical essays that celebrate the small joys and wonders of everyday life. Written during a year when Gay committed to capturing moments of delight, the book reflects on the beauty found in nature, human connection, and simple pleasures. Each essay serves as a meditation on gratitude, love, and the fleeting nature of joy. Gay's writing is both personal and universal, inviting readers to appreciate the mundane and recognize the magic in ordinary experiences. The work emphasizes the importance of mindfulness and the act of paying attention to what brings us joy, even in challenging times. 

When I first heard about the book, the New Yorker in me thought my teeth might hurt from the uber-sweetness. I was wrong. Through his heartfelt reflections, Gay explores themes of community, grief, and resilience, ultimately offering a powerful reminder of the richness of life’s small moments. The book is both a celebration and a call to practice gratitude, encouraging readers to find their own delights in the world around them.

Gratitude has two essential elements: being thankful and actively expressing appreciation and kindness. It goes beyond merely feeling grateful; it’s a conscious practice that can bring about positive changes in our lives and communities.

When we fully embrace gratitude, we often find ourselves feeling warmth, love, joy, and peace. When others show us kindness, our natural response is to feel thankful, which enhances our lives. We can then express our gratitude through kind words or thoughtful actions, creating a ripple effect of happiness that benefits everyone involved.

The cyclical nature of gratitude magnifies its positive effects, allowing us to forge stronger relationships grounded in kindness and compassion. This mindset is valuable for everyone—both children and adults. By encouraging our kids to cultivate gratitude, we help them build a more positive outlook and greater resilience throughout their lives. 

Here are some benefits of fostering a gratitude practice with your child:

1. Emotional well-being: Gratitude helps children develop a positive mindset, reducing entitlement and fostering appreciation for what they have, leading to greater happiness.
2. Stronger relationships: Practicing gratitude encourages kids to recognize and appreciate the kindness of others, strengthening friendships and family bonds.
3. Improved empathy: Gratitude teaches children to understand others’ feelings and efforts, enhancing their ability to connect and respond compassionately.
4. Enhanced self-esteem: Focusing on positives boosts self-worth and confidence, leading to a healthier self-image.
5. Better coping skills: Gratitude can help children navigate challenges by promoting a focus on positive aspects of life.
6. Promotes positive behavior: Grateful children tend to be more generous and kind, fostering a supportive home and school environment.
7. Academic success: A grateful mindset can improve motivation and engagement in learning, encouraging children to strive for success.
8. Lifelong skill: Instilling gratitude in childhood helps create a lifelong habit, leading to positive relationships and contributions to their communities.

By teaching our children gratitude, we equip them with essential tools for emotional health and interpersonal success that will serve them throughout their lives.

Simple Ways to Create a Gratitude Ritual with Your Child:

• At dinner (or during your commute): Take turns sharing something you’re grateful for from the day, highlighting both small and significant moments.
• At bedtime: Ask each child to share three things they feel grateful for, creating a calming routine before sleep.
• During car rides: Everyone can thank someone else in the car for something they did, fostering appreciation on the go.
• Sunday night dinner: Discuss how each of you will actively express gratitude and to whom during the upcoming week.
• Weekly appreciation notes: Set aside one day a week for everyone to write a note of thanks to someone specific for a particular reason. (True fact - if your child writes such a thing to a teacher, it will be saved for years to come!)

You do not have to try all of these ideas at once! I invite you to commit to one and stick with it for a bit to get a habit started. You may be surprised by how your child (and you) look forward to the moments when you can share the things you’re feeling grateful for.